Archive for the ‘ALL ABOUT ME’ Category

LIFE CHANGES

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

So very much has changed in my life since July 17, 2010.  My husband left me on this date and for the next 14 1/2 months I thought my world had crumbled.  October of 2011, I talked with a very good friend and thru our conversation saw the very bright light of day.  I realized how much better my life was alone than with someone who really did not love me.

At this time, I came out of my shell and started living again.  I was told by my co-workers that they had really been worried about me and was so glad to see me smiling again.  Everything has not been all smiles and roses since, but “Life is Good”!!

I have always loved to dance, but neither my first or second husband cared to dance with me.  October of 2011, I started going to dances and have gone on a pretty regular basis since.  I go to 3 different places regularly and occasionally to others.

At one of the dances in April, I met a guy that kinda rocked my boat and I rocked his.  We neither really wanted to be in a relationship so we decided to be friends and put the relationship on hold, even tho we saw each other a few times.   We no longer see each other, but all is good.

I went camping for the first time in my life in May.  I was surprised at the relaxation I could have and the beauty of the campsite and the place in general..  It was such a great weekend.  The best part is:  camping here is very inexpensive for 2 nights dinners, 2 nights entertainment, accessible pool, and sometimes Saturday day entertainment.  I see a lot of camping weekends in my future as long as I am physically able.

I understand the x is seeing someone and I am glad that he may be happy.  I am not seeing anyone and am happy.  When the right person comes along, if there is a right person, that will be soon enough.  If there is no one that is ok too.

For now, I must keep Christ in my life, gas in my car and be ready for the next event I want to take part in,  and have fun!!!

 

SLEEPLINESS

Monday, February 13th, 2012

For years I have not slept well. Not too long ago, I only slept about 6 hours in 50+.  The past couple of weeks or so I have slept pretty good.  None of this waking up and tossing and turning for 30 minutes to an hour before I could go back to sleep.

Even taking a nap late yesterday, I slept good last night.  Why must tonight be different?  Tossing and Turning (sounds like an oldie) for over an hour and I am sleepy, but can’t go to sleep.  Since I do not have a specific time to get up today, I guess it really doesn’t matter.

SLEEPY

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

I used to nap all the time!!  Every chance I got, I would go to sleep, even as a small child.  The past few years, I have not even been able to sleep well at night and have very rarely taken a day nap.  Some nights lately, I have slept very well, even if for a short period of time.

Last night I slept well and now am very sleepy.  You guessed it, “nap time for me”!!

UNDERSTANDING

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

Sometimes situations or actions are very easily understood and sometimes not.  Often all it takes for understanding is to be told why the sudden change in behavior or actions.  The mind will understand even if the heart does not agree.

It is very hard to understand why at the beginning of a conversation everything seems to be fine and then after maybe 90 minutes, one senses something is definitely wrong, asks and is told “I don’t know”.  Conversations ends after about 30 more minutes.

One is anxious about what happened and how and why he/she could feel such a change, but he/she does not initiate another conversation and attempts to do so by the first party are ignored.

Is this the way a real friendship is suppose to be—not to understand what was, is or will be or why?????

I do “Thank You” for helping me climb out of the valley and to the mountain top.  I know I can’t always stay on the top of the mountain ( am not there now), but know that because of you, your words of encouragement and compliments, and disbelief of some of my facts, I will NEVER be in the valley or anywhere near again.  THANK YOU!!!!!!

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GOOD LIFE

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

My life is so good at this point.  I am sometimes overwhelmed with the amount of happiness I am experiencing.  As is usual I was sitting here alone this morning, and felt so much peace within myself.  It felt as if my body had been washed over with joy.  I cannot explain how I felt but I know I am happy and satisfied with my life as it is right now and that God will always be for me.

I am not seeing anyone at this time and have not during my marriage or since my husband left me, and may never, but LIFE is GOOD.  I have been told that he was seen with someone.  I do NOT care if he has several girlfriends that he takes out.  I only hope that he can find as much happiness in his life as I have found in mine.  What we had, no matter how little or how much, is gone.  I am a better person for it because I will never again change my life and and not speak my mind because of what someone may think or do.  I will be true to myself and inner feelings.  In the future, a person will take me for who and what I am or not at all and that will be okay, too.  If I could change some things I would, but NOT the fact that he left.  I often think that maybe he should not have come back in 1981 or that when he wanted to have a fling with my best friend in 1996 that he had left then.

I have been told numerous times that I have a glow or sparkle about me.  I was recently asked if I had found someone or was I in love.  The answer is NO to the first question and to the second YES, I am finally in love and like the person I am today.  Just yesterday, someone told me I had a better attitude, no longer seemed gloomy, my eyes had a sparkle and my complexion was even better.

What will happen in my future, as everyone else, I do not know.  My plan is always be happy, always smile and whatever the situation, embrace it knowing LIFE is GOOD.

LONER

Saturday, December 17th, 2011

I have decided that I prefer to be a loner at home.  Don’t get me wrong–I love people, really enjoy being with others, but most of the time when I am home I want to be alone.  If I invite you over, all well and good, I am ready for company.

If I am alone, do not have to worry about getting in someone else’s space or have them in mine.  Do not have to worry about how I am dressed or even if I am.  Do not have to make sure I do not bump into them should we be in a small area and going in opposite directions.  Neither do I have to hear little irritating noises they may make or see movements that bother me.  (May be that I am a grouch.)

Should I get a phone call, I do not have to censure what I say or how I may say it.  I like my privacy.  I do like to talk on the phone and can for hours.  I consider it to be rude to talk on the phone with company present, so another reason to be a loner.

If I am alone, I can operate on my schedule and not worry about how it may affect others.  I can do what I want, when I want and I like that.

Yes, I am a loner, but rarely lonely!

DANCING

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

I went to a small Christmas party last night.  I saw old friends, new friends and possibly made another new friend.

The band played good music—lots of slow tunes.  I enjoyed dancing to those, haven’t got my rhythm back yet for the fast ones and still can’t line dance.   The first slow dance was quite interesting and enjoyable.  The guy used steps that were very unfamiliar to me, but I would like to dance with him again.  Maybe I would be able to follow better the next time.

I enjoyed all the dances, especially the ones I danced but also enjoyed watching the others.  I will have to say that I did not sit out many slow ones.   I was talking with someone when the band started another slow one, I looked at him and said “I did not come here to sit in this chair”, so we danced.  Just call me ‘brazen and bold’.

I did enjoy myself, had fun, and was a lady.  When they gather again, I will probably go—enjoy having good times.

Was told again:   “You have pretty blue eyes”.

 

LIFE

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Life is GOOD!  I can’t change some of life situations that I wish I could, might be worse if I could.  I am the happiest I think I have ever been since I reached my late teen years.  My life is not a piece of cake so to speak, but I know it is the best for me.

I struggle sometimes financially but I know God never made a bird that he did not also make a worm for it.  My struggles will pass, make me a stronger person while they last.

I am lonely, only sometimes.  It is better to be lonely alone, than lonely with someone.  I am not nearly as lonely alone as I was with someone.  I no longer suffer because of emotional abuse.  I will never again be second in a relationship unless that is what I choose to be.

Will I ever be hurt in a relationship again?  I probably will, but that is my choice not a choice someone made for me.

I know that I am the one that now decides who, what, where, when and how.  So just take my word for it:  “I am as happy as I can be, if I could be any happier, I would be.”  Another quote that applies to me is:  “It is what it is and that is all that it is and nothing can change what it is.”

YES, LIFE IS GOOD!!

OLD DOG/NEW TRICKS

Saturday, October 15th, 2011

I have not danced but just a very few times since I was 20-21 years old and that was not yesterday. I can remember the steps but have lost all sense of rhythm.  This may be because I can not multi-task.  I am ready to dance again.

It seems the big things now are line dancing and shagging.  Today, I learned the steps to the line dance so that if the opportunity presents itself, I can participate.  I really do need some RHYTHM.

Time will tell if I can improve my rhythm or have the opportunity and if I do, will I participate?

May also need to get in shape!!!  My legs are hurting.

LACK of SLEEP

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

I have not slept well for years, the past month has been unreal!  I have meds but they sometimes make me feel sluggish the next day.  I may as well be sluggish from lack of sleep as I had the meds.

Last Sunday, Monday and Tuesday was the worst ever.  I only slept about 6.5 hours in 59.  I also had to work with the public on Tuesday.  Not a good day.  I slept ok Tuesday night, but last night was another killer.  I slept about 2 hours.

My brother told me to get rid of my guilty conscience and I could sleep.  If that was the reason keeping me awake, I could sleep.

The doc is aware of my sleeping problems, so I guess I will just have to learn to deal with them.  I know it is affecting my overall health, but what is a body to do?

Someone told me to practice sleeping.  lol  Wish I could.