This is another post about my mother and a reflection on the life she lived, but mostly how God supplied me with the strength to do what needed to be done. The minister who led her services was her pastor for about 12 years back in middle 80′s thru the middle 90′s. He knew Mother when she was active in church, when she was living a life that portrayed her steady faith and undying love for her Lord. He watched her care for my dying dad for 5 years with never a complaint. He described my mother as she was, giving her the tribute she deserved. Mother had written down scripture verses that she wanted read at her funeral, songs she wanted sung and by whom. On Saturday before Mother died the following Saturday, I emailed this information to him.
My brother and I changed very little of what she had requested. Some of the pallbearers had to be replaced because they had died, and we chose to have honorary pallbearers, so that all first generation surviving nephews could be a part of her final physical earthly journey. In conversation whilst she lived with me, she said she really wanted ‘Amazing Grace’ sung but that was sung at my dad’s funeral. I discussed this with my brother and my husband and we decided if that was her desire, so shall it be. Her choices were ‘Love Lifted Me’ and ‘At the Cross’, we replaced ‘At the Cross’ with ‘Amazing Grace’. These were sung by a sister and brother in her home church that she had asked many years before. (They sang at Daddy’s funeral in 1988.) In the scriptures that she wanted read was John 14:1-3, this passage refers to the mansion that is being built for us if we know Christ as our Savior. On our way to the doctor in March of 2006, I called a friend and asked if she would sing ‘Mansion Over the Hilltop’ when the time came and asked her sister, also a friend, to play the piano. I told the pianist I did not want any slow sad songs played. They were to be fast, peppy, happy songs because I knew Mother would be happy.
Always before when I would try to read what Mother had written about her funeral desires, I could not see because of the blur made by my tears. The 8th of December, I wrote her obituary as best I could not knowing all of the details of when death would be (Dec.15) and whether or not those to be asked could participate in her service, I then read all that she had written and prepared the information the paster would need and emailed it to him. No Tears! I have cried very very little for Mother since her death, in fact, almost none. No, I am not heartless, I did my crying before she died.
Do not judge me, I cannot lead, just walk beside me and be my friend.
