Archive for November, 2006


Wednesday, November 29th, 2006

Mother is not doing well at all.   She has gone down hill at a rapid rate in the past three weeks or so.

When I can get my thoughts in coherent sentences, I will elaborate and give detail as to what I think has or is happening.

Til Next Time


Monday, November 27th, 2006

Today was not a good visit.  :(  

Mother did not smile or try to talk to me at all.  Her facial expression was not one of anger, just so very tired.  I think Mother has either given up or has had a stroke. 

Mother has not tried to have a conversation with me or DD in about 10 days.

Mother was asleep in her wheelchair when I arrived about 1:15 or 1:30.  I turned on her light so the aid would come.  When she came in, before laying Mother down, we changed her clothes.  Mother made NO attempt to help us in any way.  She did say to the aid while we were changing her that she was cold .  Like an exhausted child, she was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

This aid had not worked with Mother in about 2 months and commented on how much weaker Mother was and that she could not get her to smile.  She also stated that it took her about 45 minutes to bath, dress, comb Mother’s hair and brush her teeth.  (Yes, Mother has her natural teeth.)  She said Mother did not offer to help this morning either.

I spoke with my brother on the way home and he stated that he saw a remarkable difference in Mother in just a week’s time.  I have noticed it going about every day or every other day, so I am sure he was a little shocked and distressed over the change.   We, not knowing what will happen, decided to let those interested know of her condition and also some that seem not be interested.  After we do our part then it will be their decision to visit or not.  Of course, I think they should have visited when she was able to enjoy being with them.  

We both think that we are ready for her death, as she has no real pleasure in this life anymore, but are only kidding ourselves.  Mother is the last of her generation that we have left.  No Aunts or Uncles either parental or maternal survive.

It really saddens me to see her this way, probably more than I even realize, as I am crying as I type this.

I have no doubt where she will spend eternity.  I guess God has her mansion almost finished.

To those who have a relationship with God, please keep us in your prayers.

Til Next Time




Sunday, November 26th, 2006

Each year one of the cousins will host the reunion, so it is not always here.  DSIL is always the host for her siblings when it is here and never fails to do a great job.

What a week-end!!

When I was not working, I spent as much time as I could with my DH’s extended family. 

Friday night DD, her 3 older girls and myself went over to my SIL’s house just to mingle.  That was fun as the men did there ‘whatever’ and the ladies sat around and talked and laughed and laughed and then laughed some more.  One of DH’s female cousins is so funny.  She can tell about a life experience and it is so funny because of the way she expresses herself. 

By the time I got there Saturday (worked 9-1), the catered meal had been eaten and some folks had left.  The food had already been packed up to take to SIL’s house.  Some young boys were beginning to hang around the building so it was decided that we needed to leave in case some damage was done or whatever and we would not be blamed.  I helped carry some of the first load of food in the house and then I ate.  What goooooood food!  Fried chicken, huge fried shrimp (I think the largest I have ever seen, yet very tasty), corn, string beans (green beans), peas, scalloped potatoes, slaw, some type of crab something, banana pudding, chocolate cake and my 11 GD made an upside down pineapple cake.  Needless to say, I overate.

 DH had to work all week-end and did not attend any of the activities.  I left SIL’s just in time to prepare him some supper.

About 6:30 or so DD and myself went back to the activities.  We both really had a good time.  DSIL had a lady who does karaoke come over.  Old country songs, old rock and roll songs.  DD enjoyed singing with her uncle and others who were singing with the lady.  One of DH’s nephews married a girl who also is just hilarious, with a great sense of humor.  Even when she is serious, she is funny.  As she was singing, she put motions to some of the words.  A little dancing was done, not couple dancing, just clowning around.  

DD and I left about 11:15. 

I really had a good time and look forward to the next family reunion.

DSIL was disappointed and upset that her siblings did not really take much part in the activities.  Three of them did not even show their face.  True, two of them were working , but I feel they should have made a little effort to go over either Friday or Saturday night for a few minutes. 

One of them never attends.  Why????  He says they have never done anything for him and he really doesn’t know them.  How will he ever know them if he doesn’t try.  I think he needs to realize his poop also stinks.

Thank You DSIL. 

Til Next Time


Saturday, November 25th, 2006

I was so tired yesterday that I posted the time I worked incorrectly.  I worked from 5:45 until 2.  The store opened at 6 am.  When reading yesterday’s post, up everthing by an hour except the time I got off.

Today I was scheduled 9-5, but because of the family reunion, the up-front manager said I could leave at 1, so I did.

More on the reunion later.

Til Next Time


Friday, November 24th, 2006

Some folks refer to the day after Thanksgiving as Black Friday.  Well, let me tell you what I think and they might too had they followed behind me today in the lay-a-way department.

Today was definitely Tired Friday.  I worked from 6:45 am until 2 pm with only a 30 minute lunch break.   The store opened at 7 am and about 7:15 the line started forming in the lay-a-way department and stayed that way until I left at 2 except for maybe 15 minutes. 

I climbed a flight of 16 stair steps more than once.  Not only did I climb the stairs many times, I was carrying bags of merchandise with me.

Any way, this day is done and and I can begin looking forward to next year’s Tired Friday.

Til Next Time


Tuesday, November 21st, 2006

Update on Mother is good. :)

She does not appear to be angry with us anymore.  She is much like she was before that terrible visit.

I am concerned because she seems to be getting weaker.  I guess that is to be expected, after all she is 95, will be 96 the last day of January, and does no physical activity.

She seems to want to sleep more than visit.  That may be due to the time of day I go.  Also, I know that sleeping is a part of the kidney failure.

She has had a hard life, not treated cruelly, just worked very hard.  She has done things that some women just could not do – myself included.  She has farmed all of her adult life,  broke corn by hand just like the men did, shurbed the ditch bank with her bush axe just like the men did.  I think probably the only thing she did not do was hang green tobacco on the tier poles to be cured or take it done after it was cured.  Back in the days of splitting wood for heat, she even did some of that.

Until about 10 or 12 years ago, she could still out work me.  I am on the lazy side, so when I get tired at home, I stop whether the job is finished or not.  Not her, she has always finished the task at hand before stopping.

I will see how she is doing today in a few hours.

Til Next Time 


Monday, November 20th, 2006

This is going to be one busy and tiring week for me.   Days I work except for Saturday, I am scheduled in Lay-A-Way.

Today I worked 7.5 hours. 

Tomorrow I am off, however, I will not really be off.   I plan to go see Mother, shop (in the rain) for the colas that I am to take to my DH’s family reunion then deliver them to his sister’s house.  Really need to cook meals for the rest of the week, do some laundry and tidy the house.

Wednesday I work 9-5, Thursday 6:45-2, Friday 10-7 and Saturday 9-5 at the Service Desk.  :(

I guess one can expect something like this in retail during the Christmas season even if one is part-time.

DH is still working 10 hours a day 7 days a week.  No let-up for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Til Next Time


Friday, November 17th, 2006

DD and I went to see Mother Wednesday afternoon for a short visit. She did seem to have a better attitude. :?

I told her before leaving that I would not be back on Thursday because I had to work. She seemed to be okay with that. I was planning to go today, but did not get off work until about 3:30. I will go tomorrow and maybe Sunday. My brother is out of town and not able to go this week-end. I know I will fill the gap tomorrow, but not sure about Sunday yet.

Thanksgiving week will be a disaster for visits. I will just do the best I can and that is all that I can do.

She does not know that my medication is still not at the right dosage and that my calcuim level is too high and because of this, I am just tired – tired.

Til Next Time


Monday, November 13th, 2006

After I left her room Saturday, she told my daughter “Do Not let your mama rule over this entire family”.

The visit today was much the same.  I woke her up, she smiled at me.  I tried to talk to her, but she was not interested.

I can’t go tomorrow because of my work schedule so we’ll see what happens on Wednesday.


Sunday, November 12th, 2006

If anyone knows or has thoughts on this situation, please tell me.

DD and I went to see Mother yesterday. 

DD had not been able to go in about a month.  She has 8 children and 7 of them are 13 and under, with the baby being 9 months.  4 of the children are in scouts and 3 of them are practicing for the Christmas program at church.  In other words her plate is a little full, but she had been going to see Mother at least once a week until her schedule got so busy and times I would go she just could not.

Anyway, when we got to the facility, Mother was being taken to the dining room.  We stopped to talk with her and she just looked at us (more like thru us as if we were not even there)  I asked several times if she could hear us and she finally barely nodded a yes.  As we were walking away to go hang her clothes, the nurse asked her something and she readily gave an answer. 

After we hung her clothes, We went to the dining room and I asked her why was she treating us this way?  Do you not want to see us?  No answer.  Can you hear me?  A nod yes.  My daughter and I left, we were very upset.  I figured I needed time to try to figure out what was happening and why the attitude of “I don’t care if you are here or not”.   DD was almost to the point of tears.  We went to a resturant close by and had lunch and discussed the situation.  Not that we had an answer. 

After our lunch, we went back to see Mother and I tried to get Mother to talk to us .  I asked her if she wanted us to come or stay away, that she was acting like she did not want to see us.   She said “you know” and that is all that she would say.  While I was talking with her she would look around the room as if she did not want to hear me (like a child does when being asked direct ?? that they do not want to answer).

I had not been this past week, like I normally go.  I usually go 4 or 5 times, Monday thru Friday, but I only went on Wednesday due to my work schedule and the weather.  It takes me about 45 minutes one way to get to the facility.

Mother also has a granddaughter that lives maybe 20 miles away, that to my knowledge has not been to see Mother since the latter part of March when she was in the hospital before being placed in the facility.   A grandson that lives in Charleston, SC (maybe 4 hours away) has only been once.   My brother’s widow’s son has been several times.

Mother’s mind is still sharp.  She may be slow to remember details, but not too slow to know who has been faithful to visit her when at all possible.

My brother visits almost every week-end and said that Mother was not very talkative, but did not ignore him.

Is she mad because I did not visit as much and DD could not visit?  She has asked about DD and I would tell her why she was not with me.  What gives here?????????? 

Til Next Time